Thursday • September 02 • 2010

By Youth Workers for Youth Workers

Home » Soul Care » Danette Matty on the Care & Feeding of Volunteer Leaders

Danette Matty on the Care & Feeding of Volunteer Leaders

Q&A With Doug Fields

Doug Fields has been a pastor to teenagers and ministry leader for over 30 years. After graduating Vanguard University in 1984, he received his MDiv f...

Editor's Note, YouthMinistry.com: Danette Matty is the rarest of youth ministry species—she's a lifelong volunteer leader in youth ministry who's also served as a lead youth pastor on an interim basis. She writes and speaks about youth ministry in the pages of GROUP and at our Simply Youth Ministry Conference, all from the perspective of a skilled, veteran volunteer. Doug talked with her at her home in Minnesota.

Fields: Let's just start by walking through a little bit of your youth ministry history—in terms of the roles you've played.

Matty: Well, I was a pretty hypocritical Christian when I was overseas in the Air Force. I went to church, but I had one foot in the world—I really did want to live for the Lord, but I did a lot of stupid stuff. When I got stationed in the States I landed in a church that happened to be pastored by Jeanne and Sam Mayo—Jeanne (youthleaderscoach.com) was the youth and young adult pastor. I began helping out in her ministry. Her big emphasis was on relationships, intimacy with Jesus, and accountability—three very foreign concepts to me. Honestly, I had no business being a leader, 'cause I was still doing stupid stuff. My fellowship group leader called me on the carpet while at the same time saying, "I see potential in you—you're a leader, so let me develop that." I had some pretty powerful experiences with the Lord in that context.

So I helped with small groups and retreats, and leading worship. And then I met and married my husband—we led small groups together. Then we both had the call of God on our lives for full-time ministry, so in the mid-'90s he became the associate pastor at a different church. I continued working with teenagers as a volunteer. Over the years I was asked to interview to be a youth pastor, but I had two kids at home and I wanted to keep the best of both worlds intact. At one time, a few years ago, at the church we're at now in Minnesota I was the interim youth minister—it was still a volunteer role. That was quite a learning experience. You'd think after 20-something years of volunteering I'd step into it and go, "This is easy—no big deal," but it was quite the reality check for me.

Fields: So it's amazing that your entire ministry has been as a volunteer youth worker. How do you respond when you hear people say, "Well I'm just a volunteer"?

Matty: I've said it myself! I wrote an article several years ago called "Don't Ask Me, I'm Just a Volunteer." I was interviewing a veteran youth worker and I used that phrase and he said: "Danette, don't ever say that. Don't ever say you're 'just' a volunteer, because if volunteers didn't do their job we couldn't do our job."

Fields: What are some of the primary reasons that volunteers agree to serve in the first place, and then stay committed to ministry?

Matty: A few years ago I was in a workshop led by a veteran youth pastor who had a great ministry, staffed by volunteers who were pretty successful in the marketplace. These people were really sharp and brought some big-dog gifts to the table. He made a simple statement: "Sharp programs attract sharp people." He went on to talk about how you've got to give people something worth committing to, something that's going to be a great use of their time. He said people get excited about ministry—they take time off work and sacrifice their own resources—not because I've manipulated them, but because I've given them something worth committing to.

Another reason is when a volunteer feels cared about as a person and not just cheap labor. You always get more volunteer bang for your buck when you care about your volunteers as individuals. You ask me about my job now and then, you care about what my kids are doing, you know their names, and you care about my spouse.

Also, a youth pastor is going to get way more mileage out of me when he or she brings out the best in me, when I'm not taken for granted. When I was an interim youth pastor I was acutely aware that if I had a meeting I'd better make it worth coming to. And, as Bill Hybels says, I thanked people to death—I made sure they knew that I was very aware of the ways they were investing in teenagers' lives.

Fields: You know, one of the things I say to youth workers is that you can draw people in by having a vision, but you keep people by building community. So what are a few things every lead youth worker can do to build community—the care and feeding of their volunteers?

Matty: Well one of the things I picked up from Guy Wasko, one of our affinity group and workshop leaders at the Simply Youth Ministry Conference (youthministry.com/conference), is the phrase "soul care"—he talks about incorporating this into his all staff meetings. I thought, "Oh, that's what Jeanne knew." We'd meet every week for two hours, and she would speak into our lives personally. She really prioritized that. I'm in a youth ministry now where our lead youth pastor gets that—he values my spiritual walk, because God always cares about you far more than he does your ministry.

I'd also say, throw me a party now and then, you know? Do a non-ministry connecting-type of event. About twice a month my youth pastor will say, "After youth group, let's go to Applebee's and we'll talk about anything but ministry."

Fields: Do you feel cared-for in your current context?

Matty: I do. I feel like my youth pastor is very gracious toward me, and he also gives me permission to say no. I think that's a big deal—that youth pastors release their volunteers to experiment and try things even though they may be different from what they would do. But it's also important to give people the freedom to say no—when they say yes, I think they're a lot more committed.

Fields: As a volunteer, when you see a weakness in the lead youth worker, what do you do?

Matty: About 10 years ago it dawned on me that I can be in charge, but I'm really good at being a helper. I'm a lovely assistant. I began to be intentional about being a great number-two person. The youth pastors I've served under have been almost young enough to be my sons, but they've been very teachable. They appreciate me, so they give me permission to speak in their lives. It's very important to have that permission. So when I see flaws, I want to walk in servanthood toward that youth pastor. My job as a volunteer is to help make them a success—to make them look good, sound good, and smell good. I'm going to challenge in private and support in public.

My youth pastor now had been my intern before. Long after he took over he told me: "Danette, you made it so easy for me to step into this role. I had parents coming up to me saying nice things about me and they didn't even know me. I know that's because you set me up for success." And you know, Doug, I could not have heard anything more complimentary and wonderful. From the start he felt like like "I can do this, and everybody believes I can do it." Well, what did he do? He did a lot of successful things. So I think encouragement and being respectful are huge deals.

Fields: Because you're a veteran volunteer you've earned the right to challenge in private. I wouldn't suggest that for newbie volunteers—they need to spend their first couple seasons cheering on the youth worker and learning from him or her.

Matty: I would say to youth pastors who are younger or newer in youth ministry, those who have veteran volunteers, to initiate a coaching relationship with the veterans. It says to that veteran, "I'm not taking you for granted and I don't want you to sit on your experience." Respect, I think, is the basis for all coaching relationships.

Fields: I love how highly you talk about the lead youth worker at your church. But let's say he's called to another church, and you're on the search committee and you get the opportunity to hand-pick the kind of person you want. What are three qualities that you look for?

Matty: That's a great question. One thing I said to the last three youth pastors that I've worked with is, "Fall in love with Jesus on a regular basis and show us what that looks like." For me, that's number one. I've worked with some sharp youth pastors who knew how to talk to kids and who understood leadership principles—but long-term it's all about the fruit of your own walk with Jesus. After awhile that affects your leadership and it affects the way you talk behind closed doors. Give me somebody who genuinely loves Jesus and has a thriving relationship with the Lord.

Number two is somebody who's wise. That can be a person who's been in youth ministry for 30 years or somebody who's just starting, but I want somebody who values wisdom. Wisdom is humility, teachability, and people skills. I've met young people who were so wise that I had to remind myself they're only twentysomething.

Third, I want someone who does have some leadership savvy, who really does get some basic leadership principles. They know how to lead and they know how to help other people lead.

Fields: That's good. Now I just want you to imagine you're having coffee with a few volunteers and they're asking you why they should continue in youth ministry. What would you say?

Matty: I always say, number one, any investment that we make in the lives of kids is worth it. At the Simply Youth Ministry Conference Marv Penner said he believes that junior high youth workers are some of the most valuable theologians in the church today. I thought, how fantastic. I was at a youth ministry summit years ago and a wonderful youth ministry professor was there. I was the only volunteer, so talk about feeling like a dork. But this professor said something that really struck me—he was asking me about what I was doing in volunteer ministry and he goes: "You know, I really miss it. I've only been a professor for a couple of years, but every year I teach I get that much farther away from real-world youth ministry." I never want to do that. What keeps me in volunteer youth ministry is the girls in my small group. When we meet I hear about their lives and we talk and we laugh and we cry—boy, that's what keeps me.

Fields: Danette, you've given us some great, wonderful nuggets, so thank you.

Matty: I'm honored.